Having emotional intelligence means that you are able to read your and others’ emotions, which allows you to connect in an authentic way.
Emotional intelligence also comes with a strong social element. When you understand how you feel and how others feel, you will navigate your relationships more easily and effectively.
Five features of emotional intelligence
The American psychologist Daniel Goleman names five elements:
1. Self-awareness | You understand and are sensitive to your emotions. You are able to look at yourself in an honest way and you are tuned into your strengths and weaknesses. For instance, you know that you are goal-oriented, but that you need to learn to be more patient.
2. Self-management | The ability to deal with your emotions and impulses. For instance, you will not get ‘too angry’ and won’t get carried away by impulsive reactions or decisions.
3. Motivation | You are able to focus and to be flexible. You are productive and efficient, and you can postpone your immediate needs in favour of long-term goals.
4. Empathy or recognising emotions in others | You can put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their needs and perspectives. That helps when it comes to listening to them and building good relationships.
5. Social skills or how you treat others | You are a team player, you support others in their development and you communicate in a powerful and authentic way.
Strengthen your emotional intelligence with these two exercises
You can learn and develop the five features of emotional intelligence. These two exercises will help:
Spend five minutes each day learning to know yourself better
Understand that true happiness comes from within, in particular you need to learn how to deal with what you find within yourself. Take a moment every evening to look back on your day and answer these questions:
- What was really important to me today? To which quality is this connected?
- In what way can I develop myself to bring this quality into play more often in my life?
Note down your answers in a journal and go over what you have written down once in a while. That will allow you to learn to know yourself better and redirect your life.
Regularly put yourself in someone else’s shoes
Choose one encounter a day, during a conversation or meeting. Imagine being in the other person’s shoes. Experience the world the way the other person experiences it and try to keep it up for a few minutes.
Notice
how it is sometimes easier or more difficult and how this exercise helps you to
fully listen to the other person and take their position into account.
To end with...
Our emotional intelligence is a powerful compass to navigate life. Apart from our emotions, it also has an important social element. By being aware of that, we use a psychoactive process and we activate our potential.
